I have just finished packing. As I sit here waiting for new songs to be added to my iPod, I'm thinking about tomorrow. My nerves are going crazy! My fears are putting so many bad situations into my head. My fear is telling me not to go, but I can't do that. I have to go! I can't let fear stop me from doing this. If I let fear win this time, it will keep wining. I do not want to live my life in fear because that's when the 'what ifs' start. I don't want to live thinking about 'what if I had gone' 'what if I didn't let fear win'. I want to face my fears head on an do some amazing things. And that is just what I am going to do. I am going to go do some amazing things. How could I ever miss out on something amazing?
I keep thinking about how my life will be forever change because I know it will be. I can't even begin to imagine what it will be like in Ethiopia. It is going to be completely different from what I am used to. I'm thinking about the culture shock I am sure I will experience. How will I react to a totally different culture? I don't know, but I can't wait to find out. I'm so excited about this opportunity. Right now the excitement is starting to override the nerves and fear. Ask me if this is still true while I am sitting on a plane tomorrow morning waiting for take off and I think you'll get a different answer.
I must go try to get some sleep. I have to be up in about 6 hours or so. I have some last minute things I have to do then hopefully I'll get a few hours of sleep before I have to get up and run around making sure everything is ready. Please pray for my flights, my team, and the work we will be doing in Africa.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
4 Days to Go!
Just 4 days to go! I cannot believe that in just 4 days I will be on a plane heading to Dallas, TX for training. It came so quickly. I feel like it was just the beginning of March and I was just getting the phone call saying I was going. So much has happened over these last few months. All the conference calls, getting to know the other members of my team, fund raising, collecting donations, and I could go on. It all went by so fast. I wish I would have taken the time to enjoy that part of it more.
The closer it gets the more nervous I find myself. I think it is more nervousness about being on the plane to Dallas by myself. I have never flown by myself before and I dislike flying in general. I also find myself with this fear. Fear of meeting my team members, fear of what Ethiopia will be like, fear for our safety, fear of the reactions of the children. I know I should not be afraid because everything will work out fine.
I'm currently reading "If You Want To Walk On Water, You've Got To Get Out Of The Boat" by John Ortberg. I ordered it before I knew I was going to Ethiopia and it just kind of sat around for a while. I picked it up about a month ago and I read it when I have time. I was hoping to be finished by the time I leave, but I think I might have to finish it on the long flight. It talks about taking that first step (stepping out of the boat) and really trusting that God will take it from there. Fear and all you just have to step out of the boat. If God's plan for me is to be in Ethiopia then I will walk on the water and He will make it happen.
I have known for a while God wants me in Ethiopia. I knew the timing would be up to Him, so I have waited. I knew I had to be prepared in some ways before it would be my time to go. Although it might not seem like the perfect time to go with everything that has been going on this past year, I know God's timing is always perfect. He has a plan for all this and now is the time He wants me there to fulfill His plan.
My hope for this trip is to learn more of what God wants me to do in my life. I want to learn if this is the beginning of a life working with orphans. I want to learn if my life will consist of more trips to Ethiopia. I can hope for many things to happen and that is all it can be is a hope. It could happen and it could not happen. There is one thing I do know for sure. God is going to blow me away with everything He is going to show me. This really will be a life changing adventure.
The closer it gets the more nervous I find myself. I think it is more nervousness about being on the plane to Dallas by myself. I have never flown by myself before and I dislike flying in general. I also find myself with this fear. Fear of meeting my team members, fear of what Ethiopia will be like, fear for our safety, fear of the reactions of the children. I know I should not be afraid because everything will work out fine.
I'm currently reading "If You Want To Walk On Water, You've Got To Get Out Of The Boat" by John Ortberg. I ordered it before I knew I was going to Ethiopia and it just kind of sat around for a while. I picked it up about a month ago and I read it when I have time. I was hoping to be finished by the time I leave, but I think I might have to finish it on the long flight. It talks about taking that first step (stepping out of the boat) and really trusting that God will take it from there. Fear and all you just have to step out of the boat. If God's plan for me is to be in Ethiopia then I will walk on the water and He will make it happen.
I have known for a while God wants me in Ethiopia. I knew the timing would be up to Him, so I have waited. I knew I had to be prepared in some ways before it would be my time to go. Although it might not seem like the perfect time to go with everything that has been going on this past year, I know God's timing is always perfect. He has a plan for all this and now is the time He wants me there to fulfill His plan.
My hope for this trip is to learn more of what God wants me to do in my life. I want to learn if this is the beginning of a life working with orphans. I want to learn if my life will consist of more trips to Ethiopia. I can hope for many things to happen and that is all it can be is a hope. It could happen and it could not happen. There is one thing I do know for sure. God is going to blow me away with everything He is going to show me. This really will be a life changing adventure.
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