We have been on the flight for a couple of hours now. My stomach is killing me. I can't eat anything without my stomach getting upset since leaving Ethiopia. I'm feeling very upset knowing I'm going back to a place I really don't want to be. I want to be in Ethiopia. Everything about America makes me want to vomit. Except for being from there gives me the chance to really bring change to Ethiopia. We have many more resources and priveleges I can use to really help in Ethiopia.
I am really struggling with what I should do once I return home. I know God wants me back in Ethiopia. Ethiopia is no longer a major part of my heart, but a major part of my soul as well. But what am I going to do about it while at home?
Once we land, I tried not to think about what was to come. We collected all of our bags and the good-byes were inevitable. I broke down. It was so incredibly sad to say good-bye to everyone. I didn't want to leave Ethiopia, but I also didn't want to leave my group. I love each and every one of my team members. They are so special to me--we have shared just about everything. I'm going to miss them all very much. They have brought out the best in me. I can't imagine what life is going to be like without them in it every day. Two weeks might seem short to feel that close to people, but when you spend every minute of every day for 2 weeks with them you get really really close.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
July 14, 2008
The bus arrived at 2 am. We got loaded up and headed for the airport. I was tearing up the entrile ride. I'm not ready to leave. I love it here so much. I started to become really uneasy when we got to the airport. We went through security and then the time came to say good-bye. I lost it! I started crying so hard. It was hard saying good-bye to Geoffrey, Surafel, and Daina. I was bawling standing in line waiting for my boarding pass.
I want to stay so much. I know God has so much more planned for me in Ethiopia that I just want to stay and do it, but God has His own timing and that is when it will happen. I cried for so long. Every few minutes I start crying. I don't want to go home. I feel so much in my heart to be in Ethiopia that I want to stay, but God has His reasons for doing this. I just have to rely on Him and I will be back soon. I need to be back soon. I feel such a pull to stay. I definitely need Ethiopia in my life.
I have realized I am more myself or more the self I want to be when I'm in Ethiopia. This is truly what I was made to do. Everything else just disgusts me. If it disgusts me, I am definitely not supposed to be doing it. When I'm in Ethiopia I feel more joy and happiness than I have ever felt in my life. This is what brings me joy in life and it's what I'm supposed to be doing.
I am so upset to have to leave because of how much I know I am supposed to be here. Now that I am not in Ethiopia, I am on the plane, I feel more love and more of a calling for Ethiopia than ever before. It is so intense--I've never felt anything like it before.
we land in London. I'm a little uneasy. I should be happy to be here, but I just keep thinking about Ethiopia. I have always wanted to visit London, but I think I just feel more out of place than ever in my life. Not just in London, but in life in general. It's like how we are called to be in the world, but not of the world--except on a different scale. This is more of an intense feeling of being set apart than I have ever felt before.
I want to stay so much. I know God has so much more planned for me in Ethiopia that I just want to stay and do it, but God has His own timing and that is when it will happen. I cried for so long. Every few minutes I start crying. I don't want to go home. I feel so much in my heart to be in Ethiopia that I want to stay, but God has His reasons for doing this. I just have to rely on Him and I will be back soon. I need to be back soon. I feel such a pull to stay. I definitely need Ethiopia in my life.
I have realized I am more myself or more the self I want to be when I'm in Ethiopia. This is truly what I was made to do. Everything else just disgusts me. If it disgusts me, I am definitely not supposed to be doing it. When I'm in Ethiopia I feel more joy and happiness than I have ever felt in my life. This is what brings me joy in life and it's what I'm supposed to be doing.
I am so upset to have to leave because of how much I know I am supposed to be here. Now that I am not in Ethiopia, I am on the plane, I feel more love and more of a calling for Ethiopia than ever before. It is so intense--I've never felt anything like it before.
we land in London. I'm a little uneasy. I should be happy to be here, but I just keep thinking about Ethiopia. I have always wanted to visit London, but I think I just feel more out of place than ever in my life. Not just in London, but in life in general. It's like how we are called to be in the world, but not of the world--except on a different scale. This is more of an intense feeling of being set apart than I have ever felt before.
July 13, 2008
I woke up this morning realizing we are starting our journey home today. I was saddened by this. I have truly fallen in love with Ethiopia and do not want to leave. Eating breakfast, I realized it would be the last breakfast we would have together as a team--all of us being together.
After our team devotion time, we went shopping at a market to get any gifts or anything we wanted to buy. This was my first experience we having to bargain for a price. You already know you are being overcharged as it is, so you have to get them to come down in price. You also know this is how they make money to support their family so you don't want to come too far down.
We went out to dinner as a team. Dinner was a great time even though in the back of my mind I knew this was the last time we would all be together. After dinner we had to say some goodbyes. This was sad. The trip was coming to an end weather we wanted it to or not.
After arriving back at the guest house to pack and rest a bit before the flight, the staff had prepared coffee for us. The trip really was ending.
After our team devotion time, we went shopping at a market to get any gifts or anything we wanted to buy. This was my first experience we having to bargain for a price. You already know you are being overcharged as it is, so you have to get them to come down in price. You also know this is how they make money to support their family so you don't want to come too far down.
We went out to dinner as a team. Dinner was a great time even though in the back of my mind I knew this was the last time we would all be together. After dinner we had to say some goodbyes. This was sad. The trip was coming to an end weather we wanted it to or not.
After arriving back at the guest house to pack and rest a bit before the flight, the staff had prepared coffee for us. The trip really was ending.
July 12, 2008
This morning we went back to Hannah's Orphanage to help the children with their chores. We spent some time at the houses, but then went ot hte compound to help clean. We did laundry for almost 4 hours in the pouring rain. And it isn't like laundry here. It is buckets with soap and water and then buckets with water to rinse. It was long hard work. The rain made it so much more difficult. After laundry, we went inside and the children sang songs for us. we then sang a few songs for then.
After eating lunch at the guest house, we left to go somewhere that was a surprise. It was outside the city so it was a drive. We arrived to find out we would be riding donkeys! This is an experience I will never forget! The donkey were bare back. My donkey was a little crazy and ran towards the river and almost tossed me in the water. I then proceeded to fall of the donkey. At least I can say I have ridden a donkey.
After eating lunch at the guest house, we left to go somewhere that was a surprise. It was outside the city so it was a drive. We arrived to find out we would be riding donkeys! This is an experience I will never forget! The donkey were bare back. My donkey was a little crazy and ran towards the river and almost tossed me in the water. I then proceeded to fall of the donkey. At least I can say I have ridden a donkey.
July 11, 2008
In the morning we went to the Fistula Hospital here in Addis. Before our tour we learned about what they do. The hospital performs surgeries on women who have injuries from giving birth. They can sometimes get tears during childbirth and then have no control over bodily fluids leaking out. These women are shunned by society, their community, and their families. Since so many people are uneducated about it, they are seen to be cursed. The hospital performs as many surgeries as neccessary until the patient is healed--if htey can be healed. They also educate the family about it being a medical condition so they can go back and educate the community. The goeal is to get them back to their homes without worry of shunning. If this is not possible or if they annot be healed, the hospital trains them as nurse's aides and provides them with housing and a job.
In the afternoon, we went back to Hannah's Orphanage. I was video taping the arts and crafts stations, but we were running late on time and had to help with the face painting. It was so much fun. We then went to see where the children live. I was actually surprised at how nice they were. Only 2 people to a bed, a dinning room table, and they really weren't that small. There are about 6 or so in each home that live together.
In the afternoon, we went back to Hannah's Orphanage. I was video taping the arts and crafts stations, but we were running late on time and had to help with the face painting. It was so much fun. We then went to see where the children live. I was actually surprised at how nice they were. Only 2 people to a bed, a dinning room table, and they really weren't that small. There are about 6 or so in each home that live together.
July 10, 2008
Today was a mixed day. I really loved the morning, but the afternoon was a little difficult. In the morning we went to AHOPE, and orphanage for HIV positive children. I was not sure how I was going to react to the situation. When we got there most of the childrne were in their classroom, only the little ones were out. THere was one little boy who was very mellow and hung out with Jessica mostly. He has been adopted and will be going home to Colorado as soon as all the paperwork is complete. There was also a little boy and a little girl who are siblings and they have been adopted together and are going to Spain. How wonderful is that? It's wonderful because people are willing to adopt HIV positive chilerne, but it's amazing that people are willing to adopt a sibset.
After being there for about 5 minutes, you forget the children have HIV. They are no different than any other child. They sill play, laugh, and are full of love. They are just sick. The older children came out of their classrooms and we all played for a while. Then we all went inside and the children sang for us. It was adorable. They sang "Twinkle, Twinkle" and "Itsy, Bitsy, Spider" in English. we then sang some songs back to them--it was great.
We then went back out to play a little longer. As I was walking around, a little boy started walking towards me. He put his hand up and just looked at me. All he wanted was to be picked up. So, I held him for a little wile. He is so sick. Definitely the sickest one there. We just sat for a while. That is really all he wanted--to be held. I think when we all are sick we want to be held and know we will be better one day. I pray that You heal this little boy from every ailment he has. Heal him so he can run around and play with the other children. He is such a beautiful little boy.
In the afternoon, we went to Hannah's Orphanage. These children are orphans, but live in foster care homes and are just at the orphanage during the day for school and such. I found my time there to be difficult only because of the language barrier. The children were in different discussion groups. Each group had 5 questions they had to answer. Elizabeth and I were so confused. I was a little frustrated not at the children, but at the language situation. One boy was trying so hard to translate for us. Even though his English was wonderful, it was just difficult to understand.
It was another good day, though. I'm taking in so much. I'm learning and experiencing so many new things. I'm just really loving my time here and I'm not yet ready to go home. My heart and spirit just yearn to be here.
After being there for about 5 minutes, you forget the children have HIV. They are no different than any other child. They sill play, laugh, and are full of love. They are just sick. The older children came out of their classrooms and we all played for a while. Then we all went inside and the children sang for us. It was adorable. They sang "Twinkle, Twinkle" and "Itsy, Bitsy, Spider" in English. we then sang some songs back to them--it was great.
We then went back out to play a little longer. As I was walking around, a little boy started walking towards me. He put his hand up and just looked at me. All he wanted was to be picked up. So, I held him for a little wile. He is so sick. Definitely the sickest one there. We just sat for a while. That is really all he wanted--to be held. I think when we all are sick we want to be held and know we will be better one day. I pray that You heal this little boy from every ailment he has. Heal him so he can run around and play with the other children. He is such a beautiful little boy.
In the afternoon, we went to Hannah's Orphanage. These children are orphans, but live in foster care homes and are just at the orphanage during the day for school and such. I found my time there to be difficult only because of the language barrier. The children were in different discussion groups. Each group had 5 questions they had to answer. Elizabeth and I were so confused. I was a little frustrated not at the children, but at the language situation. One boy was trying so hard to translate for us. Even though his English was wonderful, it was just difficult to understand.
It was another good day, though. I'm taking in so much. I'm learning and experiencing so many new things. I'm just really loving my time here and I'm not yet ready to go home. My heart and spirit just yearn to be here.
July 9, 2008
I was really looking forward to this morning. We went to the transition home for America World Adoption Agency. I loved it there! All the children there have been matched up with families and are just waiting for all the paperwork to be finalized so their parents can come pick them up. THe children are so loved and well cared for.
I was holding a baby boy just about the entire time we were there. He was so cute. I fed him and then he threw up on me. It wasn't really that big of a deal--things happen. I really didn't want to leave the transitional home. I could have stayed all day just holding that baby.
After we left, we drove to the study center in Kechene. After what happened yesterday, I really did not want to be there. We did the holiday day with them and honestly I couldn't wait to get out of there. We did our skit and taught them about Easter. I helped hide the eggs for the hunt. I was really drained by that whole thing, too. We then taught them about Valentine's Day. The kids made Valentines for someone they love. We then filled out the Valentines, that were made from a group of women as donations for the trip, in Amharic. We wrote: Happy Valentine's Day. Jesus Loves You. I'm sure most of them did not say that as Amharic is a very difficult language to write.
The staff then invited us to have coffee. This is an honor because in their culture the coffee is a long process. It's more of a ceremony. The smell of the beans roasting was amazing. The coffee was really good. After we finished with the coffee, we brought 2 of the children home. WE were invited into their homes. The first house was much like I expected. One room where everything is done. Everything from sleeping, to living, to working, to learning. The kitchen was outside, but had a tin roof over it and some type of siding. The next house we went to was nicer than I thought it would be. There was furniture, multiple rooms, and even a t.v. There were still problems with the house leaking and being too small for the 11 people who lived there.
It was hard to see these living conditions, but I think I was somewhat prepared for it. Through my research I learned what housing was like here. Even though I know all this, you still are not 100% prepared to experience it. By the time we were at the 2nd house the neighbors realized we were there. There were people everywhere asking for food and money. It was really overwhelming. There were too many people for me to handle. As we were walking out, children began following us and singing song to us in English. A man came near our group and yelled "get out!". Even though we are there with pure and nice intentions we are still not welcomed by some.
We only have 4 more days before we leave on Monday. This trip is going by so quickly. I am not ready to go home yet. I am really dreading going back to my old life. I don't really like anything about my life back home. There is nothing there that I want my life to be about. I'm not doing anything I'm passionate about at home. Tonight at dinner Geoffrey said do what you are passionate about. I'm passionate about Africa and children--particularly orphans. My passions are what I am doing here in Ethiopia.
I was holding a baby boy just about the entire time we were there. He was so cute. I fed him and then he threw up on me. It wasn't really that big of a deal--things happen. I really didn't want to leave the transitional home. I could have stayed all day just holding that baby.
After we left, we drove to the study center in Kechene. After what happened yesterday, I really did not want to be there. We did the holiday day with them and honestly I couldn't wait to get out of there. We did our skit and taught them about Easter. I helped hide the eggs for the hunt. I was really drained by that whole thing, too. We then taught them about Valentine's Day. The kids made Valentines for someone they love. We then filled out the Valentines, that were made from a group of women as donations for the trip, in Amharic. We wrote: Happy Valentine's Day. Jesus Loves You. I'm sure most of them did not say that as Amharic is a very difficult language to write.
The staff then invited us to have coffee. This is an honor because in their culture the coffee is a long process. It's more of a ceremony. The smell of the beans roasting was amazing. The coffee was really good. After we finished with the coffee, we brought 2 of the children home. WE were invited into their homes. The first house was much like I expected. One room where everything is done. Everything from sleeping, to living, to working, to learning. The kitchen was outside, but had a tin roof over it and some type of siding. The next house we went to was nicer than I thought it would be. There was furniture, multiple rooms, and even a t.v. There were still problems with the house leaking and being too small for the 11 people who lived there.
It was hard to see these living conditions, but I think I was somewhat prepared for it. Through my research I learned what housing was like here. Even though I know all this, you still are not 100% prepared to experience it. By the time we were at the 2nd house the neighbors realized we were there. There were people everywhere asking for food and money. It was really overwhelming. There were too many people for me to handle. As we were walking out, children began following us and singing song to us in English. A man came near our group and yelled "get out!". Even though we are there with pure and nice intentions we are still not welcomed by some.
We only have 4 more days before we leave on Monday. This trip is going by so quickly. I am not ready to go home yet. I am really dreading going back to my old life. I don't really like anything about my life back home. There is nothing there that I want my life to be about. I'm not doing anything I'm passionate about at home. Tonight at dinner Geoffrey said do what you are passionate about. I'm passionate about Africa and children--particularly orphans. My passions are what I am doing here in Ethiopia.
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