Things have changed lately. I was supposed to start grad school tomorrow. I was going to start a masters program to earn a Masters of Social Work with a concentration International Community Development. It goes so well with the continuing work I want to do in Ethiopia. Well, I was in a car accident on December 8, 2009 and I need to get major back surgery that I am still waiting for. Being on disability for almost 9 months has hit me very hard financially. I did not receive disability for 2 month and had to use my savings and borrow money to try and get through. That savings was to pay for grad school. With that money gone and things being super tight already, I just could not afford to go to school right now. I wouldn't be able to pay tuition let alone books. So I did a very hard thing and I completely withdrew from school. With that I lost my $350 deposit. I do not know when or if I will go back to grad school. At this point it's just on hold.
With finally handing this area over to God and not trying to do it my way, He has put something awesome on my heart. I had planned all along that I would go to grad school, graduate with my MSW in May of 2012 and then move to Nashville in June of 2012. I have felt for over a year now that God wants me to move to Nashville. I'm not sure why yet, but I will go where ever He wants me to go. Well, did you get the part where I said "I had planned". It was my plan to do things this way. With withdrawing from grad school and totally submitting the situation to God and turning it all over to Him, He is revealing more of His plan for me. I already know that He wants me to do work in Ethiopia and help the people over there, but that is just a small piece of it. And I know that if I am obedient to Him very much more will happen in my life and He will take me where He wants me to go.
John 14:23 says, Jesus replied, "If anyone loves Me, he will obey My teaching. My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him." If we obey His teaching, They will come and make Their home with us. His teaching, I believe, is anything He is showing or revealing to us because we are learning something every time He does that. If we obey everything He shows us or reals to us, He will make his home with us. The Contemporary English Version says it exactly how I'm getting at saying it "and We will come to them and live in them". If we obey the Lord, He will live in us. The living God will dwell in us!! (When we ask God to be our Savior the Holy Spirit comes into us. I'm fully aware of that, but my point here is that it will be much more than just that.) And that is how we are supposed to live. We are to obey Him and have Him dwell in us. In order to fully obey Him we HAVE to make Him Lord of our lives. We have to give Him control over everything! When we took Jesus as our Savior, we GAVE our life to Him. It is NO LONGER our life, but it is HIS LIFE. He is to make all the decisions and lead us to where He wants us to be.
This past weekend, God taught this to me. Through many different ways. He wants me to give Him full control over my life. I have struggled in this for a while. There have been things I still want to decide for myself and have control over. We CANNOT live like this. It just won't work. Jesus is LORD and we need to live like that is true. We can't say one thing and then do another. It's all or nothing. This relationship is all or nothing. You have to make the decision that EVERYTHING is now the Lord's and He is in control of it all.
So remember how I said it was MY plan to finish grad school and then move to Nashville in 2012. Well now that I have fully give it over to the Lord, He is revealing His plan for me. And remember we have to OBEY if we want Him to live in us. The Lord wants me to move to Nashville next year! I am handing the reins over to Him and OBEYING! When my lease is up at the end of June 2011, I will not be renewing and I will be packing up and moving to Nashville. I don't know what is going to happen when I get there, but I am OBEYING! This is His life and He wants me to be there so I am going.
He has also settled some nerves and has let me know that my surgery and everything will be taken care of before that and I will be healthy. This is big! I have never fully handed everything over to Him and obeyed. I am eagerly looking forward to moving and seeing what the Lord has planned for me. I of course will update this all along the way.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
My January Trip To Ethiopia
I know I have been absolutely horrible at keep up with this thing. I think it is time to get back into the swing of things. I could sit here and rewrite every journal entry I made from my trip to Ethiopia in January, but I will spare you all. I think my second trip to Ethiopia can be summed up like this: I have a more clearer vision of what God wants me to do now. I know now God has called me to program development in Ethiopia. He wants me to create programs to serve the needs of Ethiopians. Projrams that will help them help themselves. Programs that will give them a leg up out of poverty so they can support themselves and their families. Programs that will destroy poverty and help people live lives that are financially sercure. Living lives where they don't need to worry about where their next meal is coming from because they make enough money that they can buy food to feed their family. I am so excited to see where God takes me on this journey.
I am not going to sit here for one minute and proclaim that I know exactly how to go about this and that I know what I am doing because I don't. I will be the first person to admit that. I know nothing about program development and building nonprofits. I just know nothing about that at all. What I do know is if God wants me to do it He will help me do it. He doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called! I just feel so blessed that He has picked me to do this work in Ethiopia. He picked me! Even if this is just a small portion of the work that needs to be done, it is still an important part. I am completely and utterly humbled that God would entrust me to such a feat. I have no choice but to fully rely on Him to help me accomplish what He has called me to do. And what else would I do besides that?? Even if there was another choice...this is the only thing I would do.
I would love for you to be a part of this journey with me. God is doing some pretty amazing things in my life right now and for that I am truly blessed. I could not imagine my life without my Savior...and I don't want to. He is amazing and wonderful and has done so much for me. I love Him!
I will post some pictures later from my trip in January. While I was there, I also had the opportunity to visit with my sponsored child, Abreham. This was a wonderful experience. Even though he was very shy, I really loved spending time with him. Now all I have to do is learn Amharic better so I will be able to talk to him next time I go visit him.
I am not going to sit here for one minute and proclaim that I know exactly how to go about this and that I know what I am doing because I don't. I will be the first person to admit that. I know nothing about program development and building nonprofits. I just know nothing about that at all. What I do know is if God wants me to do it He will help me do it. He doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called! I just feel so blessed that He has picked me to do this work in Ethiopia. He picked me! Even if this is just a small portion of the work that needs to be done, it is still an important part. I am completely and utterly humbled that God would entrust me to such a feat. I have no choice but to fully rely on Him to help me accomplish what He has called me to do. And what else would I do besides that?? Even if there was another choice...this is the only thing I would do.
I would love for you to be a part of this journey with me. God is doing some pretty amazing things in my life right now and for that I am truly blessed. I could not imagine my life without my Savior...and I don't want to. He is amazing and wonderful and has done so much for me. I love Him!
I will post some pictures later from my trip in January. While I was there, I also had the opportunity to visit with my sponsored child, Abreham. This was a wonderful experience. Even though he was very shy, I really loved spending time with him. Now all I have to do is learn Amharic better so I will be able to talk to him next time I go visit him.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Pics from July 2008
Here is a video I made a few months ago from my pictures from my trip in July. I thought I would post this before I start posting about my most recent trip. Not all the pictures I took, some were taken by my fellow team mates on Team Ethiopiawesome.
Enjoy! :)
Enjoy! :)
Sunday, February 8, 2009
I'm back on track!
Well, just about. Now that I have finally finished posting about my last trip to Ethiopia, I can finally post about the trip I just returned from. Once I do that I will be all cought up on this whole blog thing. Sorry it has taken me so long to get this far. Life was crazy the last 6 months since I got back from the last trip and then getting ready for this trip. It was hard to find to to get up to date. I'm sure I have all of your forgiveness on that. :)
I am hoping to get caught up fully in the next few days and begin posting regularly on what God is showing me and about my calling to Ethiopia. I hope you all stick around...I know it will be quite an adventure! :)
I am hoping to get caught up fully in the next few days and begin posting regularly on what God is showing me and about my calling to Ethiopia. I hope you all stick around...I know it will be quite an adventure! :)
July 16, 2008
I did not sleep well alst night. I think I slept about 5 hours. Elizabeth and I left the hotel at 6:15am for the airport. We both knew what was coming, but I tried not to think about it. After checking in and gettting through security, we grabbed some breakfast. That's when I started to loose it. It just all hit me that we are all leaving each other. I know we will all see each other agian, but it's just hard to elave everyone.
I'm not not ready to go back to my life yet. I'm preparing for reverse culture shock because I know it's coming. I can feel it already. American life is just not what I want to live. I really want to be back in Ethiopia. I just love it there so much. Life was amazing when I was there. I was the person I've always known I was. I came out of this shell I've been living in for far too long and I loved it. I would have stayed if I could. My soul yearns to be in Ethiopia. I need to be there. I need Africa more than Africa needs me. I can't say it any better. That is all there is to say:
I'm not not ready to go back to my life yet. I'm preparing for reverse culture shock because I know it's coming. I can feel it already. American life is just not what I want to live. I really want to be back in Ethiopia. I just love it there so much. Life was amazing when I was there. I was the person I've always known I was. I came out of this shell I've been living in for far too long and I loved it. I would have stayed if I could. My soul yearns to be in Ethiopia. I need to be there. I need Africa more than Africa needs me. I can't say it any better. That is all there is to say:
I need Africa more than Africa needs me!
July 15, 2008
We have been on the flight for a couple of hours now. My stomach is killing me. I can't eat anything without my stomach getting upset since leaving Ethiopia. I'm feeling very upset knowing I'm going back to a place I really don't want to be. I want to be in Ethiopia. Everything about America makes me want to vomit. Except for being from there gives me the chance to really bring change to Ethiopia. We have many more resources and priveleges I can use to really help in Ethiopia.
I am really struggling with what I should do once I return home. I know God wants me back in Ethiopia. Ethiopia is no longer a major part of my heart, but a major part of my soul as well. But what am I going to do about it while at home?
Once we land, I tried not to think about what was to come. We collected all of our bags and the good-byes were inevitable. I broke down. It was so incredibly sad to say good-bye to everyone. I didn't want to leave Ethiopia, but I also didn't want to leave my group. I love each and every one of my team members. They are so special to me--we have shared just about everything. I'm going to miss them all very much. They have brought out the best in me. I can't imagine what life is going to be like without them in it every day. Two weeks might seem short to feel that close to people, but when you spend every minute of every day for 2 weeks with them you get really really close.
I am really struggling with what I should do once I return home. I know God wants me back in Ethiopia. Ethiopia is no longer a major part of my heart, but a major part of my soul as well. But what am I going to do about it while at home?
Once we land, I tried not to think about what was to come. We collected all of our bags and the good-byes were inevitable. I broke down. It was so incredibly sad to say good-bye to everyone. I didn't want to leave Ethiopia, but I also didn't want to leave my group. I love each and every one of my team members. They are so special to me--we have shared just about everything. I'm going to miss them all very much. They have brought out the best in me. I can't imagine what life is going to be like without them in it every day. Two weeks might seem short to feel that close to people, but when you spend every minute of every day for 2 weeks with them you get really really close.
July 14, 2008
The bus arrived at 2 am. We got loaded up and headed for the airport. I was tearing up the entrile ride. I'm not ready to leave. I love it here so much. I started to become really uneasy when we got to the airport. We went through security and then the time came to say good-bye. I lost it! I started crying so hard. It was hard saying good-bye to Geoffrey, Surafel, and Daina. I was bawling standing in line waiting for my boarding pass.
I want to stay so much. I know God has so much more planned for me in Ethiopia that I just want to stay and do it, but God has His own timing and that is when it will happen. I cried for so long. Every few minutes I start crying. I don't want to go home. I feel so much in my heart to be in Ethiopia that I want to stay, but God has His reasons for doing this. I just have to rely on Him and I will be back soon. I need to be back soon. I feel such a pull to stay. I definitely need Ethiopia in my life.
I have realized I am more myself or more the self I want to be when I'm in Ethiopia. This is truly what I was made to do. Everything else just disgusts me. If it disgusts me, I am definitely not supposed to be doing it. When I'm in Ethiopia I feel more joy and happiness than I have ever felt in my life. This is what brings me joy in life and it's what I'm supposed to be doing.
I am so upset to have to leave because of how much I know I am supposed to be here. Now that I am not in Ethiopia, I am on the plane, I feel more love and more of a calling for Ethiopia than ever before. It is so intense--I've never felt anything like it before.
we land in London. I'm a little uneasy. I should be happy to be here, but I just keep thinking about Ethiopia. I have always wanted to visit London, but I think I just feel more out of place than ever in my life. Not just in London, but in life in general. It's like how we are called to be in the world, but not of the world--except on a different scale. This is more of an intense feeling of being set apart than I have ever felt before.
I want to stay so much. I know God has so much more planned for me in Ethiopia that I just want to stay and do it, but God has His own timing and that is when it will happen. I cried for so long. Every few minutes I start crying. I don't want to go home. I feel so much in my heart to be in Ethiopia that I want to stay, but God has His reasons for doing this. I just have to rely on Him and I will be back soon. I need to be back soon. I feel such a pull to stay. I definitely need Ethiopia in my life.
I have realized I am more myself or more the self I want to be when I'm in Ethiopia. This is truly what I was made to do. Everything else just disgusts me. If it disgusts me, I am definitely not supposed to be doing it. When I'm in Ethiopia I feel more joy and happiness than I have ever felt in my life. This is what brings me joy in life and it's what I'm supposed to be doing.
I am so upset to have to leave because of how much I know I am supposed to be here. Now that I am not in Ethiopia, I am on the plane, I feel more love and more of a calling for Ethiopia than ever before. It is so intense--I've never felt anything like it before.
we land in London. I'm a little uneasy. I should be happy to be here, but I just keep thinking about Ethiopia. I have always wanted to visit London, but I think I just feel more out of place than ever in my life. Not just in London, but in life in general. It's like how we are called to be in the world, but not of the world--except on a different scale. This is more of an intense feeling of being set apart than I have ever felt before.
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